Spilling Truth About Toxic Spirituality
In our latest episode of I'm Not Yelling! I'm Dominican; we had an honest and much-needed conversation about something that's been lingering in our timelines, group chats, and even some so-called healing spaces: toxic spirituality.
As first-generation Afro-Caribbean women who've navigated religious institutions and modern spiritual circles, we know firsthand what it feels like to search for meaning while staying rooted in our authentic selves. We wanted to unpack the difference between real spiritual guidance and the performative, sometimes manipulative practices we see online and in our communities.
Defining Toxic Spirituality
Toxic spirituality isn't always easy to spot. Sometimes, it appears dressed in white linen and "good vibes only" hashtags. Other times, it hides behind rigid religious dogma or influencers who shame people for their trauma while promising enlightenment. We've seen spiritual leaders use their platforms to dismiss pain, downplay reality, and claim authority over others' connection to the divine.
We've been there. In this episode, we shared why we no longer subscribe to the idea that growth has to be picture-perfect—or that healing has to happen in silence or, worse, in shame.
Why Authenticity Matters
We gravitate toward people who show the full picture—folks who aren't afraid to talk about their struggles, their messy middle, and what healing actually looks like. It's not always pretty, and it's not linear. We talked about the influencers and community leaders who keep it real, and how their vulnerability is what makes them relatable—not their ability to present a polished image of peace and perfection.
We're not here to be gatekeepers or gurus. We're here to hold space for the complexity of growing and evolving spiritually while being grounded in culture, family, and community.
Spotting the Red Flags
During the episode, we broke down the red flags we've come to recognize in toxic spiritual spaces:
The "good vibes only" culture that dismisses pain and silences truth
Gurus and religious institutions who claim divine authority but lack ethics or transparency
The idea that you can "manifest" your way out of systemic oppression
The belief that positivity alone can erase trauma
These mindsets aren't just unhelpful—they're harmful. They invalidate the very real experiences of people who are doing the deep work of healing generational wounds, navigating mental health challenges, and trying to find spiritual grounding in a world that often gaslights them
Culture, Intuition, and Reclaiming Power
One of the most important takeaways from our conversation was the importance of trusting our intuition. Growing up in traditional religious settings taught us to seek approval from external authorities—priests, pastors, and systems. But as we've unlearned and relearned, we've come to understand that the divine connection we seek is already within us.
For our community—predominantly Black, Brown, and Caribbean folks—it's vital to remember that spirituality isn't one-size-fits-all. Cultural traditions, ancestral practices, and personal intuition all have a place in how we connect to something greater. And when spirituality is used to control rather than empower, it's okay to walk away.
Healing Is Messy, and That's Okay
We ended this episode reflecting on how important it is to hold space for ourselves and others without rushing to "fix" or reframe everything. Sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is say, "Yeah, that hurt," and let someone sit with their pain. Real support doesn't always sound like advice—it sounds like presence, patience, and compassion.
We're still learning. We're still unlearning. And we're committed to having these conversations—not just on the mic, but in our families, friend groups, and communities.
Our Call to Action: Stay Rooted, Stay Real
If you haven't tuned in to this episode yet, we invite you to listen. Whether you're deconstructing your relationship with religion, exploring new spiritual paths, or trying to make sense of the noise—we hope this conversation helps you feel seen and affirmed.
We'd love to hear your thoughts. How have you experienced toxic spirituality? What does spiritual authenticity look like for you? Let's keep this conversation going.