00:00 - nachi (Host)

So being careful with who you share that with, because then you might be absorbing information that can deter you and stop you from taking that first step. And taking that first step is always the hardest but the most important, because it just gets you moving, it just moves you forward.

00:34 - Damaris (Host)

Welcome to another episode of I'm Not Yelling, I'm Dominican podcast hosted by Nachi and Damaris. Hey, fam, it's your girl, nachi, and I'm here with.

00:45 - nachi (Host)

Damaris, the provider of answers to the questions you never ask.

00:51 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, sometimes I don't ask questions and you always seem to give me answers.

00:57 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, I mean, our whole podcast is a bunch of answers to questions that nobody asked for.

01:03 - Damaris (Host)

No, but we're here to give it to you Absolutely. And today is just another one of those days. With Damaris and I, we were talking about what it means to actualize our dreams. And you know, real talk, we Dreaming Big. It's different when you're first gen. Our parents came here with a viable mindset where they just wanted to look for new opportunities for themselves and for their families. But we out here, really just trying to build legacy, passion, purpose, you know, just trying to dream big. And dreaming is really not enough, right? We got to make some moves and be motivated and take action. So that's what we're going to get into today. We're going to talk about turning those big dreams into action, from mindset and motivation to just real accountability, and we're going to talk about all that today.

02:06 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, I think it's going to be so important how we differentiate what our parents did and how they set us up for success right In order to dream bigger than they were able to dream, and I think their dreams were big for them at that time and now for us, it's about how do we move beyond that.

02:28

Knowing what we know, how we grew up, how are we applying what we've learned as adults through life experiences, was part of Dreaming Big, because they dreamt of a better life to be able to provide for not just themselves but for their family, for the village, if you will, and so that I think, from a first gen perspective, even things like being the first to buy a house or being the first to go to college are some of those things where you'll see that as a big deal for first-gen Americans.

03:08

And luckily, our parents were one of the first to buy a home in the US. A lot of our extended family purchased homes in Dominican Republic, but for our parents, they wanted to build wealth in this country and they knew doing that was going to be through purchasing a home, and so we grew up being a witness to that and seeing how it has benefited them and us and how we moved in terms of purchasing our own home. So, in our case, we weren't the first to buy a house within our family, which is kind of nice, but we were not even the first to go to college, because Poppy went to engineering school in Berlin. So, dang, our parents were doing it.

03:57 - Damaris (Host)

Okay, they were. But you know it's saying that we build off of their dreams, like they came, like that's part of what he wanted to do. He knew that he had to. He wanted more for himself, right. And even Ami, when she came into the stage, I think about every time she talks to me and she shares her first moments. When they got off the plane, she had on these little slip-on shoes. It was cold, it was in the middle of the winter and she was freezing. Yes, but even she wanted something more than just your typical job that you see a lot of immigrants taking when they first get. She was like no, I want to go to school and I want to learn bookkeeping, I want to learn how to type, because she wants to be in an office setting, right.

04:51 - nachi (Host)

And she did it, she made that happen.

04:53 - Damaris (Host)

She made that happen with no English. And I laugh when she spoke about her first job at the union, where she spent I don't know 30 plus years, yes, at the union where she spent I don't know 30 plus years, yes. And she would say and my godmother, a woman that she befriended and they became really good friends. She became my godmother, but she was Puerto Rican and she would teach my mother how to speak English. So she would tell her you know, yeah, I'll tell you what to say. That's how she learned how to speak English. I love it. I know, I love it too. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, but I just love that.

05:32

That was their dream, right, and for us, it allowed us to dream even bigger. Yes, right Now we can think beyond just owning homes. Now we want to talk about oh, how can we invest our money? I want more than just buying a home. What else can I invest my money? How else I can build my? You know, there's just so many things. We were able to dream a little bit more and do things. Yes, we can right like they.

06:01

They gave us the space to do that yeah which I'm forever grateful for yeah, yeah, absolutely, even with feeling the pressure of succeeding, and I think that lends to and we'll probably get into into it a little bit later where, like imposter syndrome and perfectionism comes in and creeps into our psyche, where we don't want to move forward with our dreams.

06:28 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, one of the things that was, I think, one way that bigger than what our parents were dreaming, especially for me, is traveling internationally. So, while, yes, your parents did do some of that which is what inspired me to continue to do that I was able to be more adventurous and go on more trips than they did because I had more time I didn't have the kids like they did and more disposable income to do so. But I remember how excited they would get when I would tell them about an upcoming trip, like, oh, okay, I'm going about an upcoming trip. Like, oh, okay, I'm going, I'm going to Africa, y'all, I'm going to Tanzania. It's like yes, and they were, they were so proud of me. They like this is an achievement. They're like, yes, you know, cultured people go on trips. And it's like yes, floor the world.

07:20

Praise God, praise God, so. So that to me was like one of those things. In comparison to their experience of how I dreamt big for myself and and traveling internationally was has been a huge thing for me. And and I say also working at a high wage career, I think for a lot of us that's a big deal, right. It's like, okay, I'm now, I'm able to get my first jobs, I'm able to earn way more than my parents, and that's a great thing, and they're happy for me because that means okay, the investment that I put towards my education is paying off. And so I say that's probably one way many of us, especially from a first gen background, is working in that high earning job, that high paying job and, quite frankly, for me is never having to work again Like I am trying to retire earlier and work less, live a soft life.

08:28 - Damaris (Host)

Yes, yes.

08:30 - nachi (Host)

Aren't we all? Yes, I mean, but I think some people, I think some people don't feel they deserve it, and we'll get into that a little bit later as to why I feel like sometimes we stop ourselves from dreaming big. But one of the big things for me is being able to pass down wealth so that my babies ie my niece and nephew they don't have to work as hard and they can live a soft life to explore whatever their beautiful little hearts desire.

08:58 - Damaris (Host)

Well, yeah, they live a soft life now.

09:01 - nachi (Host)

I know and I want them to continue living a soft life, a soft life now. I know and I want them to continue living a soft life.

09:05 - Damaris (Host)

They act crazy when I tell them to go. They need to find a job and mind you y'all, they're 16 and 14. But when I was 14, I was dying to get my first job. I was dying to make money. My kids are like no, why no?

09:22 - nachi (Host)

they were hooting and hollering. They were hooting and hollering. They were hooting and hollering this last Sunday, when we talked about jobs.

09:28 - Damaris (Host)

I said are you crazy? Please don't think that I'm going to be funding you for the rest of your life.

09:36 - nachi (Host)

Well, I'm trying to leave them some behind so that they can explore what it is they really want to do, and that's what I hope to do. She said no, tell them.

09:51 - Damaris (Host)

I'm just saying they are not in a hurry to explore. Yeah, yeah, like we were, we were, you know, dying to.

10:02 - nachi (Host)

We were dying to make that bread, so that way we could buy yeah, so we could buy all the latest shoes, the latest kicks. You know I do leather. Yeah, you know All of that. All of that, All the things, and we touched a little bit on it. But what are those common fears that kind of keep people stuck in dream mode?

10:21 - Damaris (Host)

Well, of course, imposter syndrome We've talked about that many times in in previous episodes and I say this because we all deal with it and that's me, damaris, everybody yeah for sure, when we talk, we talking to ourselves. Really, you know, what we share here is really like us pumping ourselves up here. Hello, like you, like you got this girl, you can do it. Okay, because imposter syndrome is real.

10:49

It's a struggle and you have to check that every so often and you start to think when imposter syndrome comes into play, it comes in the form of you thinking, the form of you thinking I'm not allowed to dream this big, I'm not allowed to see myself in a larger or a higher level of where I am or what I want. You start to look at it as so out of reach. But I always say if it came to you, it's actually meant for you, it's meant for you to do it, it's meant for you to move forward with it. You're not there to really to figure everything out, but know that if it came to you, it is meant for you and you just have to take that leap of faith and move forward with it. So I would say imposter syndrome is one of fear that keep folks stuck.

11:46 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, I also say, for me personally is the fear of not knowing, so that need to control, and so when I don't know what's going to happen or how it's going to happen, it paralyzes me sometimes, and so that definitely gets me stuck sometimes in that space of not acting on my dreams. And so it's learning how to release control, because then that is an exhibit of lacking faith.

12:17 - Damaris (Host)

Right.

12:18 - nachi (Host)

Yeah. And if you have faith in the almighty or if you have faith in yourself, like, let's say, you're just like, oh, you know, I don't believe in a higher power, which is fine, but you do not have faith in yourself right, right, right.

12:32 - Damaris (Host)

Where's your faith ability? And I think fear of failing is is another one. It's sort of linked to that and I know that's something that I deal with is just fear of failing. I don't want to do something that I may fail at and some deep rooted issue where if I did something wrong I was yelled at and and you know, and so that whole fear that inner child, that inner child.

13:02

I don't want to make a mistake. That definitely creeps up and it hinders me right when I don't want to try something, or I limit myself or I stop myself from completing something, because you know I love me a bunch of projects, but I feel that that's part of what holds me back is that fear of failing, when you start to think, oh my gosh, this could be a thing. And then you start to think, well, what if I fail? What if this is like? What if it blows up in my face? So what if I look so stupid? It's just like all these things come up, but in reality, who gives a fuck? I mean, even if you do fail, you learn from that. No one that's successful Did it on their first try. It's like the successful people out there are those who kept on trying even when they fail, and that is exactly what I have to remind myself all the time. You don't have to be perfect If you fail. Okay, figure out what it is that you did wrong.

14:14

Just adjust, learn be flexible, learn from it and then, when you try again, pivot, you know, just make those changes to move forward. And it's a lesson that I try to teach my kids, because I know that they also deal with that as well, where they are afraid to fail and it's like no, just don't worry about failing it. You know, even if you fail, it's okay. You learn from that. You learn from your failures.

14:44 - nachi (Host)

Let's talk a little bit about that because it's kind of a slightly tangential, but I think this is so important for our listeners to hear. We spoke about this last summer, where we grew up at a time where we were latchkey kids so, which meant that we were given a lot of responsibility in terms of after school. We took our little asses home by ourselves, we made our own little after school snacks and, you know, we waited at home, we were inside and we did what we had to do until mommy came home and then she prepared our dinner and the rest of whatever she had to do as mother and wife dinner and the rest of whatever she had to do as mother and wife. No-transcript problem solving skills.

15:37 - Damaris (Host)

Oh yeah.

15:38 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, Independence. And so one of the things you, as a parent, you shared last summer was the fact that which I think a lot of parents, especially those that were first gen kids you try to ensure that you do as much as you can for your kid and provide them with all the guardrails, all the safety nets and what you learned in I forgot I don't know if you read it somewhere or listening to someone, an expert they mentioned that that is what causes a lot of kids right now to have anxiety or are afraid to do things, because they don't want to fail, they don't want to make a mistake, and that is because you created an environment where there were never any mistakes. So, which is crazy right Thinking of, like you think that, oh, you're trying to protect your kids at all costs, but at some point, you also need to give them the freedom to explore and to learn on their own.

16:47 - Damaris (Host)

Yes. And definitely that's all true.

16:50 - nachi (Host)

Which speaks to the whole, and I bring that up because you mentioned how your kids are sometimes are afraid to try things.

16:56 - Damaris (Host)

Right, right. And it has to be a balance between the two, because I also feel as a latchkey kid when you are given all these responsibilities, right, it's a burden, for, like, I remember being stressed over certain things that a child shouldn't be stressed over, but I was, and in turn, as a parent, I sheltered my children, and I know a lot of people have done the same with their own.

17:28

It's like, oh, I don't want you to do this. I could do this for you, and yes, and the result is I don't want to do anything. You know, I'm too scared, I don't want to try this. And not that they don't try things, but they're hesitant trying new things that they're not as familiar with. And my whole point is and I'm glad you brought that up is that we have to be able to allow for a room where your child and even yourself to explore. And it's okay to fail. Okay, we move on. We don't need to fester over that failure, we don't need to mope about it. We just look at what caused the failure and then learn from that and move on.

18:11 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, absolutely. I think there's always a balance right. The pendulum can't just swing to one end and that be it. And so, even recognizing that because it's not until you talk through that that I then could see oh yes, I could see how that can impact kids negatively, that you know, in a way, that was unintended, obviously.

18:35 - Damaris (Host)

Right, right right.

18:45 - nachi (Host)

I'd say that also. Another fear or thing that keeps people stuck in the dream mode is when, right, right, right, not everybody's going to be as open-minded, and while some people may come truly from a good place as far as trying to provide you with advice or warn you about certain pitfalls, their journey is not your journey, and then you can't let that stop you from doing what exactly would make you most happy and what you should be doing that aligns with your life's purpose, and they're not going to know that it's you ultimately. So being careful with who you share that with, because then you might be absorbing information that can deter you and stop you from taking that first step. And taking that first step is always the hardest but the most important, because it just gets you moving. It just moves you forward, yeah.

19:44 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, it's funny because I recently had a discussion with and this is just in reference to taking that step I was having a discussion with my daughter's school administrator and we were just kind of working out a plan for her. And we were just kind of working out a plan for her and the one thing that he said and I love that he said it, because I'm always saying it to her, but she doesn't. You know, sometimes kids don't receive it from their parents as they would another adult he kept saying to her you have these goals you have to meet, but don't think about all the many different steps that you got to take to get to that goal. Just take that one step, because as you take a step each time, things will start to fall into place, and that's how this whole thing works as well. It's taking that first step and then taking that next step and continuing on so that you can reach your goal.

20:47

And in terms of comparison going back to your point about comparison we had a time where social media is big and we tend to look at others that might be doing what we want to be doing and they seem like they're so far ahead. Don't let that deter you as well. I mean, you are in your own lane. Don't worry about somebody else in their lane, in their path. You have your own Focus on your path. Worrying about where someone else is, it's just not for you. That's not what you should do. So avoid trying to take all of the images of other people doing what you would like to do.

21:33 - nachi (Host)

Absolutely. I think that, and I know for me, I get overwhelmed by the process, what the process might be. So, yeah, that's why, again, it's just important to take that first step, because it is I know I get into analysis, paralysis. So I think how do you start implementing your vision, your dream? And that's through action.

21:59

And so it's great to have the dream and to be always thinking about it, because you know that's what they say too when it comes to manifesting, and like you need to be thinking it, feeling it and all that good stuff. But but you also need to be doing it right, like you need to be doing something. And I think, for both of us, part of that is setting goals, and we talked about this in our entrepreneurial episode, where I think my mission was, which is to help my community thrive, and so for me, setting my goals into increments, small increments, is super helpful, and also planning them out and scheduling them out, too, meaning I have tabs in my goal notebook. Mind you, I haven't updated my goals notebook in like probably over a year, so I'm trash, like I'm not even keeping up with what I'm telling y'all right now. But look, you're talking to yourself.

23:08

But I'm talking to myself because I'm going to go back to my goals book, but I do. There's like a, there's a tab for one month, six months and I think like 12 months and then beyond, and it's great because I've put things in there and that stuff has come, come through to fruition. But part of it is I'm writing it down, I'm putting it on paper and then by also regularly checking my goals, it stays top of mind too. So I have like a, an appointment on my phone of like checking on the monthly to make sure are they still aligned with what I'm trying to do?

23:46 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, yeah, and that's what they call, what they call a smart goals, right, where it has to be specific, you have to measure. So what does that look like for you in terms of not success, like your overall success, but the success of that specific goal that you're reaching? It has to be achievable and relevant and time-bound. You talked about the 12-month, six months, so it's like you give yourself a timeframe.

24:15

Okay, I'm going to do this by such and such, and we we're doing it for ourselves, for the podcast, where that's how, when we meet, we talk about we look at our goal, our overarching goal, and seeing where we are based on the quarter Like, did we reach our goal for that quarter? And that's just how we need to do things so that we ensure that we're meeting our goals. And and looking at it, as you said, it's just like being able to see your goals and remind yourself, because it's very easy to just write it down and put it aside and then don't think about it and forget about it. But if you're going back and looking at your journal, your goal journal, there you go, you're, you're reminding yourself of what you're trying to work towards.

25:04 - nachi (Host)

Yeah and I, you brought up the podcast. That's definitely an area where we had a goal. We had to go to launch it. We launched it. Then it's like how do we grow it? We're growing it and we need your guys' help to help grow it, otherwise I'm going to end this podcast. So, yeah, tell your friends word of mouth, let it grow. No, no, honestly, but I mean that is part of our strategy.

25:31 - Damaris (Host)

Guys share.

25:31 - nachi (Host)

No, but that, and for me, it was also when I identified what I wanted my life's mission to be.

25:39

Part of, that was investing in Black entrepreneurship. So I became an angel investor and those are things that I actually was able to do and invest in a couple three companies two led by Black women, one by a Black man and they're like in different sectors, and I love it. One is in healthcare, the other is in commerce, and the other one's like in different sectors, and I love it. One's in healthcare, the other is in commerce and the other one's like in satellite work. I'm like I don't even know what that will, but I'm like here's money no, it's great, but it makes me feel good that that's where I'm focused and investing my time and money and then, hopefully one day I still don't know how it's going to happen, but I believe in blockchain, which is the building blocks of crypto, but it's not just meant for cryptocurrency. Blockchain is really a foundation, is a digital ledger that can be used for so many things, and one of them, I hope, is really to help Black farmers in distributing their product. How it's going to happen?

26:45

I don't know but, I pray that yeah that the steps are aligned, that we can get produce and meat from Black farmers that are out there that have gotten the very short end of the stick by the government and this country unfairly treated so, and I would love if their products were available, especially to the communities that need the most, like urban communities and other other underserved communities. Yes, so those are kind of like things that I'm working towards and my goals.

27:22 - Damaris (Host)

Well, that's nice, but you know, and listening to you, I think about what we were saying earlier that we are dreaming bigger than what our parents dreamed of. Right, you were talking about providing support to individuals that are out there doing meaningful work that you appreciate and value, and you have the opportunity to do that and want to be able to do that, and so that's dreaming bigger than what our parents were able to. I mean, they had their own dreams and wanting to help others, but this is bigger than what they were doing.

28:05 - nachi (Host)

Yes, and they did some really great stuff.

28:07 - Damaris (Host)

When you think about your goals. How is it that you work through your major goal Like? What steps do you take to keep that momentum going?

28:17 - nachi (Host)

For me it was important to do the exercise of life's mission, and I think I did that with Vida right when I had a session with her about my business, and she really helped walk me through, thinking through what do I want my life's mission to be and not everyone has to do that, but it helped me in terms of, okay, well, where do I want to focus my efforts? And without having that kind of mission driven purpose I, it was hard for me to identify what I wanted to do with my time, career wise and whatnot. And so, doing that exercise of a mission, I was then able to. Then it made sense for me to identify the goals, the goals that would support, that would be aligned with that mission.

29:13

So for some people it's just like look, create your goals. It doesn't, you don't need to have a life's mission Like that's just me, right. But having your goals and then having them scheduled out of, like, what do you want, you know your one month goal, your six month, 12 month goal, short and long-term goals of what you want, and then it's the time in between that you just have the little steps to get there. And I say don't expect to have the long plan. Just have your long-term goal, but how you get there. Don't focus on that.

29:48

Focus on your immediate steps, because you might end up pivoting and you might end up changing what your long-term goal is based on what you're seeing and where it makes the most sense for you to focus and shift your efforts towards so that to me, is how I do it.

30:12 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, no, I think I think taking the small steps for me it's. I do have to write my you know whatever my major goal is, but I also have to write down like, okay, what is it that? I know this is my main goal, but what can I do today? That I know this is my main goal, but what can I do today? What's that one thing, what's that one action I can do today? That's feasible, right?

30:41

Because sometimes you look at this big goal and you're like, oh, I can't do all of this. Like, oh, let me tell you, when I was in grad school, my goal was to graduate, right, and that was a journey. Because, let me tell you, there were plenty of times where I felt like I want to quit, I'm going to quit, I'm so done, I don't want to do this anymore. Maybe I was wrong, but I would take the one step I didn't think about. Okay, I got X amount of time left and it seems forever to reach that graduation date thing that I can do right now.

31:35

And if that was okay, when I get home from work, I'm just going to spend an hour or whatever studying, or I'm going to work on this. You know a little bit of this paper, or it's that small right that's small for you to maintain that momentum and not stay stuck in a place of I don't know how I'm going to do this. This is too difficult. I just don't see even reaching my goal anytime soon. That by doing those small steps that will help you maintain motivation, because part of that is keeping discipline, and that's really what Discipline is the hardest part.

32:11

Yes, and that's really what Discipline is the hardest part. Yes, and that's really what? Because it's more than just motivation, because sometimes we're not motivated to do the things that's going to get us to our.

32:21 - nachi (Host)

It's the discipline that gets us there.

32:23 - Damaris (Host)

The discipline, and that's what we need to focus, and that's what those small steps are right. Taking those steps is being disciplined enough to say, okay, let me just do this, because if I do this, this will help me get closer to my overarching goal.

32:40 - nachi (Host)

I also for motivational purposes. I do like to go down memory lane and review the wins, because that helps those times when it's low and you're and you're. You're absolutely not motivated. You're feeling ready to tap out. Go down memory lane. Think about that first day, that first step, how you got there and how you got to where you are at this moment.

33:07 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah.

33:07 - nachi (Host)

Review the wins and celebrate all the wins, but review your wins especially when you need that that push.

33:14 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, and your why? Because a lot of times there's a reason behind why we want to reach a goal, and you write that down. So you want to revisit that and remember why you want this, and that will, you know, help you with your motivation, like, okay, I want to do this, you know, whether it's for some, like your children, or for yourself, or whatever it is. Just maintain that why and go back to it and celebrate those wins, like you said, and just remember those wins.

33:45 - nachi (Host)

Yes, yes.

33:45 - Damaris (Host)

And it's good to celebrate, right Because yes, yes, even the small, don't wait for like that no, all the wins For you to celebrate. You need to celebrate all your wins, every single one of them, definitely, because it got you closer.

34:04 - nachi (Host)

Yes, yes and absolutely. I also say with when dealing with setbacks, because that's just part of the journey, right, that's part of. You're going to come across things that were unexpected, that may derail what you're trying to do, but I say those are the moments where you need to be still and not make rash decisions, especially not making decisions out of fear, and you recognize when they're fear-based decisions. When you feel rushed to do something, you feel rushed to take an action. And when I learned the difference, that's when I've learned to pause, just be still, be quiet and let answers come to me. When I'm feeling overwhelmed or thinking like something is not working out right now, I have to pause and be still and like nine out of 10 times, if I'm really, if I really pause and I'm truly still, it'll just a random thought will come to me to answer whatever it is that I need. But when I react and make a decision based off of that knee jerk reaction, that's typically from a place of fear. It's usually not it either makes the situation worse.

35:23 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah.

35:24 - nachi (Host)

Yeah, let the answer come to you.

35:26 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, no, then that's a good one. Sometimes I have to talk to you and talk through something, because talking through it with someone and getting a different perspective on a situation tends to help, because you, just, you know you, you're going to think irrationally and you definitely want to think things through and and you're my person- the one I go to.

36:02 - nachi (Host)

As as are you. Yeah, cause, when you think about cause, we're talking through what it means to actualize your dream, what, what it means to live your dream, and that's going to be a journey, and that's most definitely not something that comes overnight.

36:16 - Damaris (Host)

Right yeah.

36:18 - nachi (Host)

My patience is thin in general and so where Nachi says that I'm her sounding board, she's my sounding board too, because there are times where I'm ready to walk and I mean walk from this podcast as much as I love it and I love this podcast. But it takes work and effort, and to do this podcast and not get paid for it is it's an energy exchange and I need to see that come back to me in some manner. And then it does sometimes, because I'll get a note from a listener or I'll hear, and it makes me feel good because they'll tell me how much they enjoy that topic or how much they love to hear Nachi and me talk and how we feel like we're a family to them, so that I love that. That's a huge motivator for me. But we don't get to hear that often, right, because we're just talking to ourselves and sometimes it feels like we're just talking out into the ether, right, we're putting out these episodes and I'm like I hope someone's listening and I know you guys are. So I appreciate that and thank you for that.

37:23

But it's just one of those things where I have to remember this is a journey. We're getting there when I think about where we were day one to now. We're two years in, or actually, but yeah, two solid years in since it's gone live. Yeah, we're in a huge. We've made significant strides, so congratulations to us. I might've come in a little loud but, yeah.

37:55

So I think part of going through this journey is the accountability aspect of it, and what does it mean to take accountability for that? And part of it is asking yourself the tough questions. You'll always hear me talk about being introspective yourself the tough questions. You'll always hear me talk about being introspective, really sitting down with yourself and be honest with yourself about how are you showing up for your dreams? Were you disciplined? Where is your discipline?

38:24 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, and sometimes it's hard to just do it on your own and that's where getting a partner in, an accountability partner and that person doesn't have to be doing what you're doing, it's just someone that will check in on you like, hey, what's, how's that project going on, you know, going on with you, have you done? You said you was going to do X, y and Z. I think that goes a long way when you have someone that you share, that you trust, someone that's trustworthy, that you've shared what you want to work on and they be your partner to keep tabs and keep you accountable for your action steps. Like, hey, you said you was going to do X, y and Z. Did you get to do that? Tell me about it. Because let me tell you, if I have to share something, that right, there is a motivator to get something done. Like, oh, I don't want to. When this person asks me that, I say I haven't done anything.

39:30 - nachi (Host)

Right, because because you're embarrassing yourself and you're showing your lack of discipline, and sometimes it's things like subconsciously, people don't even realize but do you think you're worthy of your dreams? Because that is something that if you don't think you're worthy of it, it will stop you from taking any step, and sometimes people don't even realize that they don't even think they're worthy of that particular dream. I'm not good enough for this dream. It's way beyond me.

40:07 - Damaris (Host)

Already can think like why it won't work, right, I'm not going to be good at this, so that's not going to work for me. You know already. Just self-sabotaging themselves.

40:18 - nachi (Host)

And this is where, then, you have to ask yourself why do you not think you're worthy? Why have you not been disciplined? Why are you not showing up for your dreams? Because that's sometimes some other kind of work you have to do before you can actually start working on your dreams, and that's just like housekeeping right.

40:38 - Damaris (Host)

Yeah, yeah. And the other thing also for us to know and understand is that you don't have to do it by yourself. It takes partnership, it by yourself. It takes partnership and when I say partnership, like people that you are, that you trust that you can reach out to, that can help you in a specific area. We talked about this in our entrepreneurship episode seeking mentors and the like and they come in different forms. Again, they don't have to be in that same doing the same thing that you're working on, but definitely someone that can. It might be a specific area that they can help you with, and that's okay to ask for help, Like you can't do it all by yourself, because that's what's going to lead to burnout and where you're going to end up saying I'm not doing this anymore, I quit and I'm done, and we don't want that.

41:37 - nachi (Host)

Right, and help also comes in can be in the form of oh, you need someone to just watch your kids. They don't need to know the ins and outs of your dream and what you're working on, but just giving you the space to work on your dream, on whatever that is, and that is a form of help, right. So it's again, you can find that via mentorship, an accountability partner, someone to watch your children or whatever it is that you need to free up time and space for yourself to work on your dream. And again, any little step counts and I think you know we talked about like it's important to, I think, with anything is just striking the right balance to avoid things like burnout and quitting prematurely, because that can easily happen if you don't go into it with a plan of some sorts or with some sort of balance in mind yeah, it's yeah, it's really exciting in the beginning, but when you're not, when you're not seeing things go the way you expect it, then it's just like it's easier to tap out right, right, yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

42:54

And so I think, yeah, I mean, is there anything else you want to add to that? I think we covered pretty much what we're doing for ourselves and what we've learned.

43:03 - Damaris (Host)

I think you know the biggest takeaway is that it just takes action and discipline to reach your goals and you don't have to do it alone. It's seeking out help wherever you can, whether it's, yes, that babysitter, or maybe it is a mentor that you actually need, or you just maybe need to. It could be in so many different forms, but knowing that you're not alone in whatever it is that you're trying to achieve is going to be important, because you become isolated and then you don't want to move forward with reaching your specific goal on many different things. Again, it's a nice reminder for ourselves as we continue with this podcast and other. You know in our own personal goals that we have that it's achievable. It is achievable Because if it came to you, it's meant for you.

44:06 - nachi (Host)

That's it. Praise God, amen. So, with that said, there's a lot of noise out there, but our message is consistent Stop getting distracted by the smoke and mirrors, tune out the noise and focus on your divine purpose in life. Vibrate higher to elevate your frequency and always. Thank you, guys, for listening. Forget to subscribe to our channel and follow us on Instagram, tiktok and Twitter, at. I'm not yelling underscore and we look forward to talking next time. Bye.